Not that much scares me in terms of neighborhoods. I used to live, among other odd places, in a dodgy part of Brooklyn where every morning I woke to dozens of empty crack vials littering my stoop (no, they were not mine or those of anyone I knew!).
But this place made me feel scared in a lonely, bleak, hopeless sort of way.
I saw a toddler, naked except for a drooping diaper, leaning in the open doorway of a tilted, shabby rowhouse. The highway, with zooming boats of decrepit cars roaring past, was about 10 feet away.
BVM was right there...the Blessed Virgin Mary. A church. It was dark gray and looked, to my eyes, sort of foreboding. How many people, I wondered, actually went there? And how do we justify this large, sturdy church in the midst of crumbling, subpar homes?
There was a serious air of poverty about. I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could.
But I was lost.
But I was lost.
I asked for directions at a gas station, leaning into the bulletproof partition that protected the cashier. She seemed sort of put out that I asked, even though I was also paying her fifty dollars cash to fill up. This woman--begrudgingly--gave me utterly crappy, totally wrong directions that only took me miles more astray, toward the even bleaker city of Chester.
None of these places (and I was--embarrassingly--lost after an Away swim team meet. How ridiculous!) seemed like places I would ever care to visit again.
And that got me thinking: I need a GPS (though I seldom get lost). But also: I believe in the saying, "If you're going to do good work, the work has to scare you," (as Andre Previn, the composer, once said).
Chester and its environs scares me. But I have always intended to do good work, somewhere, somehow.
I think often of how best to help. Teaching? Tutoring? Exposing people to the arts? Or should I seriously just get a bus and fix it up and use it to drive in fresh vegetables from the farms and maybe even provide some free or low-cost outpatient medical care? Should I deliver books to these neighborhoods?
Should I become a physician now, which has long been nagging at me? A trauma nurse?
I am writing a new book right now, for which I have high hopes...maybe that's part of my calling.
I am writing a new book right now, for which I have high hopes...maybe that's part of my calling.
The answer, I assume, will come to me.
In the meantime, I call on everyone else to consider how they can be of service to others--and I mean really help people (not give a bit of money here and there to bureaucrats on your side of the political fence).
We are here to help each other, to make a difference. Or, at least, that's the only reason I can see for even existing.
I won't make this about God. I am not much into church or organized religion, especially not of late. I have been very turned off by the intolerant types who seem drawn to such things, and I sincerely wonder if I will ever be able to forgive and forget.
I think, though, that the purpose of life has to do with creating meaning where there may have been none before.
What is the good work that you can do? Are you scared to try it? If so, then you simply have to do it.
What is the good work that you can do? Are you scared to try it? If so, then you simply have to do it.






